Manchester, Apollo - 05 Dec 96

so as the last kebab stained sock is reluctantly persuad to go in the washing machine, we sit down in our rather new elasticated mauve underpants and contemplate the fantastic fun we all had on the 'it girl' tour.

the tour followed the star of bethlehem via newcastle, lancster and liverpool before ending up in manchester, where the concert was one of the best of the whole tour with about 55 million people present. so unless you sneaked the world trade centre in, or you resembled a particularly we endowed giraffe, i doubt you would have seen anything (it's strange how 99 percent of the crowd turned up at the aftter show sociable lemonade part and how stressed the staff of the hotel looked with 2000 pissed up adults in teh bar that even the local microbe would find clastrophobic).

before we were aware we had even been to newport, aylesbury and brighton, we turned up at southampton for the penultimate gig, where it was so nice to be able to remove ones cloth cap, discard coal from our diets, and don our armani leopard skin bikini's. however, obviously the sight of our fantastic physiques proved to much for the 1500 or so fans with a small section of (possibly) men chanting that old age classic, "please would you kindly remove your top for the lads, as i've just passed my degree in female anatomy." louise was surprisingly not tempted by this offer, and neither was jon, although louise compromised by suggesting the men 'tackled out' and bought a t-shirt, which resulted in a new world record t-shirt sale for the night, as well as an abnormally long queue for the gents toilets on the way out.

and then we were faced with london, where we once again basked in the tropical southern climate, before being trampled upon by four anda half thousand fans. like usual the gig was fantastic, with everyone crowd surfing as well as the odd person tubing a breaker, accepting the source, man, and overdosing on smirnoff blue label factor 41 sun cream. just in case any of your blood was not contaminated with alcohal, the lovely management made teh after show bar free.

so i needed a night out did i, just for a change? and there we have it, brixton's done, the birds are cheeping, the cows have gone mad, and i've finally realised how my be works. oh, and by the way. thanks for the matches and the knickers.

the end of a fantastic dream...